Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Through My Tears...I Will Praise HIM!

As most of you know I am not a super private person. Michael and I tell our stories to anyone, and I felt like I wanted to share the last couple weeks with my readers (since most of you are my close friends and family). As many of you know before I got pregnant with Addie I had a miscarriage. It is such a interesting thing. I never understood how it hurts your heart to lose a baby so early. It seems like, that baby never really developed, you didn’t have much time with them, it was so early, but it hurts just the same. Along with miscarriages come the questions “What if I can’t get pregnant?” “What if this is something I will keep experiencing?” Those are hard questions to wrestle with. I am blessed for a couple reasons. 1. I have a God that I know I can trust, this doesn’t mean I know he will make me pregnant but I know he loves me and more importantly I trust him that this life is not about that, this life is about bringing Glory to His name and somehow this is just another way to bring Him Glory. I truly believe this, this life is not about me but HIM!! I have so much comfort in that! 2. I have had the amazing experience of being pregnant and have the most amazing child because of it. Addie is truly AMAZING!!! If you haven’t gotten to spend a lot of time with her just trust me that child is the most gentle-hearted, sweet, loving, fun, and easy going child. We love her dearly and are so happy she is ours.

So now that I have caught you up on the last couple years, a couple weeks ago I took a pregnancy test and it said pregnant! Yay we were so excited because we want our children to be close together and this would put them about 26 months apart, perfect! Once again Michael and I can’t keep our mouths shut so we proceeded to tell our immediate family and those we see on a regular basis. About a week ago I started experiencing the same symptoms I had during my first miscarriage. I immediately called my doctor and when I talked to the nurse she didn’t sound very hopeful and said I was probably experiencing another miscarriage. Remember how I talked about how sweet Addie is. When I got off the phone I immediately hit the floor sobbing (I am an emotional basket case) and that sweet child ran over to me and wrapped her arms around my neck. She laid her head on my shoulder and from time to time she would look up to see if I was still crying. What an amazing comfort she was during that time. The next week was an emotional roller coaster. Much like the time before we went to the doctor and they saw the sac (last time we actually heard the heart beat) and they said that everything looked normal right then and that we would just have to wait it out. The waiting is hard because you want to cling to the hope but when the symptoms just keep getting worse I think you know what is happening. This morning we went back to the doctor and we got the news that we already knew. We lost the baby. Honestly when I got pregnant this time I didn’t think as much about a miscarriage and I guess it was because I got pregnant with Addie in between so I thought I was in the clear.

At this point we aren’t going to do any testing or anything even though that was offered to us. We are clinging to the two things I stated above 1. We have hope in our God 2. We did get pregnant before so it seems like I would be able to get pregnant again.

A friend of mine sent me this verse today and it so true, God is bigger than everything:

Isaiah 45:5-7

"5 I am the LORD, and there is no other, besides me there is no God; I equip you, though you do not know me, 6 that people may know, from the rising of the sun and from the west, that there is none besides me; I am the LORD, and there is no other. 7I form light and create darkness, I make well-being and create calamity, I am the LORD, who does all these things."

I also posted this yesterday on facebook, they are lyrics from a song I heard:

"Lead me to your heart, rid me of myself, I belong to you!" No matter what happens in this life I am His and He deserves ALL glory.

So through my tears I will praise HIS name! Love you all!

Sarah Beth


  1. Sweet Sarah Beth, there are no words to tell you how very sorry I am for your loss. I'm lifting you up in prayer to the One who can offer true comfort though. I love you so much and can't wait to see the glory God brings through this pain. I am so proud of you for keeping such a good perspective during this hard time. Love you.

  2. Sara Beth,

    Even if I have seen you only once, I felt welcome, as I was in my own house when Linsay and Tyler took me to your house. I agree with Whiney there are no words to tell how how sorry we are! But God has other plans for you and your family.You have to be patience!

    Hope to see you guys soon!

  3. I'm so sorry Sarah Beth. Thinking of you tonight!

  4. Thought of this verse when I read your blog, sweet SB,

    "Do not be seized with alarm and struck with fear, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom!" Luke 12:32

    Love you and praying for you!

  5. Oh Sarah Beth, I'm so sorry! I know that was a painful few weeks for you. please know that I will be lifting you up to our Heavenly Father. After a little scare we had after Savannah's birth Steven and I truly had to come to grips with the fact that God is good even in the bad times. And He is. We know His timing and plan is perfect..although it sure is hard to know when you go through trials and tribulations. love you girl!

  6. Hello Sarah, Michael and princess Addie!

    I'm from Brazil and just want to say how blessed and beautiful are your family!

    I know that God is taking care of all of us and his mercy is forever...

    Have a lot of blessed days!!

    Big hug from "sister" Isabelle! =)